Thanksgiving Jokes For Adults?

Just wanna crack my dinner guests up.
Does anyone know some good Thanksgiving jokes for adults. Childrens are not invited so I don't mind how dirty the jokes are.
I know a few good jokes for adults but I want more.

asked by Josue in Holidays | 16031 views | 11-25-2009 at 05:07 PM

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for Christmas?"

answered by Peter | 11-25-2009 at 05:08 PM

What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"
little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

answered by Mario | 11-25-2009 at 05:08 PM

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!

What key has legs and can't open doors?
A turkey!

answered by Dennis | 11-25-2009 at 05:09 PM

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