Funny Valentine's Day Pics, Quotes and Messages for Cards?

Valentine's Day is today and I'm still making the card that I'm going to attach to my boyfriend's present.

I'd like to write a funny quote or message and add a funny picture.
He's a very goofy man and I'm sure he's going to love my present. I wasn't going to make a card at first but I think it's going to be hilarious.

I need inspiration. Where can I find funny quotes and messages for my Valentine's Day card?

For funny Valentine's Day pictures, I recommend google images, you'll find a huge variety of images there.
Here are a few quotes and messages to write in your card.

When I think of Valentine's Day, i don't usually think of a flying toddler shooting me in the butt with arrows.

Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.

Roses are red,
Cabbage is green.
My Face is a laugh,
but yours is a scream.

Roses are red,
violets are blue.
I have 5 fingers,
the middle one's for you.