Irreverent Jokes?

I'm currently working on a special proyect for school and I need some irreverent jokes. Can't find much about it on the web. What are some good irreverent jokes?

asked by Sandra in Jokes & Riddles | 7256 views | 09-22-2009 at 04:09 PM

Some really good Irreverent Jokes:

Bible class

In Sunday school, Sister Mary asked the class: "What part of the body goes to heaven first?"

In the back of the class, nasty Billy waved his hand frantically, but Sister Mary, suspecting a wrong answer, turned to another child. "Yes, Susan?"

"The heart goes to heaven first because that's where God's love lives."

"Excellent," said Sister Mary, "and you, Charlotte?"

"The soul, Sister Mary, because that's the part that lives beyond death."

"Very good, Charlotte," said the Sister, as she noticed Billy's hand still waving in desperation."

"OK, Billy, what do you think?"

"It's the feet that go first, Sister, the feet."

"That's a strange answer Billy. Why the feet?"

Billy answered, "Because I saw my mom with her feet up in the air, shouting, 'God, I'm coming, I'm coming!'"

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Poor blind Herbie

Poor little Herbie. Since his birth, poor blind Herbie had never seen the light of day. One day at bedtime, his mother told him that the next day would be a very special one. If he prayed extra hard to Jesus, he'd be able to see when he woke up the next morning.

Eagerly, Herbie crouched down on his knees beside his bed and put his hands together. For hours, he prayed and prayed to Jesus.

The next morning Herbie's mother came into his room and gently woke him from his sleep.

"Well Herbie, open your eyes and you'll know that Jesus answered your prayers."

Little Herbie slowly opened his eyes, only to cry out, "Mother! Mother! I STILL CAN'T SEE!"

"I know, dear," said his mother. "APRIL FOOL!"

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MEMORY LOSS

An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire. So they decided to go see their physician to get some help. Their physician told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and they left the doctor’s office very pleased with the advice.

When they got home, the wife said, "Dear, will you please go into the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why don’t you write that down so you don’t forget?"

"Nonsense," said the husband, " I can remember a dish of ice cream!"

"Well," said the wife, "I’d also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, because I know you will forget."

"Don’t be silly," replied the husband. "A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!"

"OK, dear, but I’d like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you’d really better write this down. You’ll forget," said the wife.

"Come now, my memory’s not all that bad," said the husband. "No problem—a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream."

With that the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream.

He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later. Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, "Hey, where’s my toast?"

answered by Dalsim | 09-22-2009 at 04:11 PM

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